WHO AM I, WHAT AM I; WHO AND WHAT AM I ABLE TO BECOME.
Deep inside, I feel like a folded or a covered rainbow that is struggling to uncover itself and form its magnificent arch for the world to see and be mesmerized.
Do you ever feel like you were destined for greatness and bigger things in life than what you currently are? That you know for sure you did not come to this earth just to be an Admin or a driver or a cook all your life? I do, and I don’t just mean monetary greatness but also being a person touching and changing other people’s lives in one way or the other.
I know I am a rainbow, I know I have several untapped talents buried deep within me and it would be a tragedy if I left this earth before I discovered them, but I have a problem. It’s a struggle identifying them, to unleash them and exploiting them as I should.
Sometimes you see people quit their jobs, start something they are passionate about, you see them curve it out slowly but surely, you give them support and encouragement or sometimes discouragement if it’s not viable according to you, a few years later you look at them and wow! They are thriving, soaring like eagles doing something they love because they believed in it and in themselves.
They know what they want and have no fear pursuing it.
Well me, am just stuck here worrying about that cheque because I have mouths to feed and responsibilities that I cannot just gamble with chasing my passions because, for some of them it’s too late, others I don’t know if they can pay my bills.
That’s the excuse I use to convince myself to continue being here, and by the way am a very good at my job but I have been in it for so long and lately I have been feeling it’s time for a change, it’s time for this eagle to take off, spread its wings and fly into the beautiful skies where it belongs, it’s time for the rainbow.
I hope I will be able to curve my ARCH and show the word my beautiful colors. Are you like me? Stuck doing the same thing for eons and eons and you need a change? Are you a walking eagle that desires to finally fly? I know I am not alone, let’s do this!
There are times that I have been fully convinced I should have been a lawyer. Well, several years ago I almost did become one after working in a Law firm for seven years.
I almost joined the School Of Law but something came over me and convinced me that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in suits, I hated suits, I loved jeans instead, I only got to dress down on Fridays, oh how I loved jeans Fridays!
I wanted a life of jeans and frills lol, but my mind wasn’t wise enough to know that when you are your own boss, even as a Lawyer you could dress any way you want. Anyway I also didn’t want to spend my life defending criminals in boring law courts!
That was another quite stupid decision because Law practice is diversified and there is a lot of areas where one can create a comfortable niche that doesn’t require going to the courts for litigations. Actually one of the partners I worked for wasn’t keen on taking court cases and she still made her big bucks, but that didn’t cross my mind, I was young, sometimes being young can be an obstacle while making important decisions.
So instead, I chose to study Business Administration to be an ADMIN, HA! The wisdom!
A Motivational Speaker
I can be a good motivational speaker, a self-taught life coach…oh yes, I would love to pursue this because I know I have something to offer here, if only I could overcome my public speaking fears, yes guys, I am terrified of audiences.
I would love to especially give much needed talks to the teenage youths and school kids but I wonder if I can pull that off. I give shaky speeches to a group of ten colleagues at work, the fear is real, but it’s a work in progress, am currently working on myself, so until then, adios to public speaking.
I can make a good counselor if I study psychology. Sometime last year I talked to a counselor friend about it and she advised me. I was really thinking hard on embarking on this but it needs school fees and my availability to attend the classes.
It is a passion that I would like to pursue once I am capable of doing it. This would actually work together with the public speaking I mentioned above. In Kenya and Africa in general, people don’t like to engage a counselor’s services, it seen as a thing of the west and most people shun it even when they need it.
I strongly feel that in the current times, things have become quite complex and sometimes people can get lost in the maze of life, I get lost myself every now and then and need someone to talk to, to get me through. I am currently thinking of engaging a counselor to talk to my teenage daughter because I am feeling like as a parent, I might miss out on some topics that affect modern teenagers unknowingly.
I usually talk to her but I have realized the problems affecting our teens and youths are not exactly the same as the ones we went through during our times, it’s more complicated now and I think a counselor would be more informed on this new problems that I may not know.
I would love to be able to give guidance especially to the teens and youths because they are engaging in unspeakable actions and someone needs to get real with them and keep reminding them of the dire repercussions they seem to be oblivious of. Some of their actions are due to lack of information and knowledge and I would like to be in the front line for this.
Finally I am certain I have the ability to be a really good professional blogger because I have passions to share and I know how to express myself. I love photography and I could showcase my captured images here, but look at my blog, it took me forever to start it and one year later after I did, it’s still a skeleton and I barely post.
Not because I don’t have things to write about but there is this monster, the biggest enemy of progress that lives in me called PROCRASTINATION, it calls the shots here. What a shame! Of all the things that I have mentioned above this is the only one that I have 100% control over. I may not have control over the number of people who choose to visit my site, that’s your decision my readers but I have control over the content available to you, the kind that’s available, how it’s presented to you and how often it’s available.
Yet I have completely failed myself by not showing up for my strengths. I have no excuse for not showing up and exploiting this particular strength. I remember a decade ago when I started using Facebook I used to be very active, coming up with all kinds of statuses that were funny and would be well narrated. A few friends would urge me to write a book or something but while I acknowledge I have a way with words I did not imagine I had what it takes to write a book, even now I still don’t.
Instead, I should have started a blog then, I didn’t know about blogs, I came to learn later and I still didn’t do anything about it, what do you call that? Is there anyone else who suffers from chronic procrastination like me?
I have realized that blogging is not that simple, it has its own challenges too. Some of this challenges are the topics that one chooses to talk about. As you have seen, so far I stick to non-controversial topics due to my fears to delve into topics that might bring conflict with friends and acquaintances.
I fear social media reactions, I am a very outspoken, straight forward and very open minded person (please note I did not say I am a saint lol) I love saying things as they appear to me, no sugar coating, and this has put me in awkward situations with people in the past.
There are some things I would love to talk about but I know some of them would touch a raw nerve. But still, I don’t want to be a boring blogger, so I have to come up with a way to balance my reservations so that I can be able to produce interesting articles that will not intentionally hurt people I care about. Baby steps as I find my niche in this blogging world.
You see all these passions I have mentioned have the ability to impact the society directly, people can benefit from me on a personal level as I benefit from them, it must be very fulfilling for those people who have managed to establish themselves in those areas.
The Take Away
I may not be able to quit my job right now to pursue all the passions above, but i can do better to improve on my blog as a starting point. So from May 2019 I will dedicate myself to improving my site, deliver more articles, diversify it to provide a variety of information, to refurbish it to look better and appealing to my readers.
If my blog grows into something big, and if you are reading this, you will remember this article and say…..i know that lady and her blog, I have known them since back when they were struggling to publish consistent content to a handful of followers and visitors. 🙂
We all have dreams, visions and ambitions, we have potentials, possibilities and capabilities but we find ourselves deviating from them and taking different paths that always leads to the same outcome. We always reach a point and wonder who we are, what are we doing and we desperately feel the need for a change.
The time to make that change is now! Start that blog, start that side hustle, enroll for that course you have been wishing to but have been lazy to start, enroll in that gym you have been postponing. Let’s do this and see how far we can get by the end of 2019, we shall have a post to take stock and see.
It’s time for the rainbow! It’s time to BECOME!