At The Crossroads of Life

Have you ever felt like your life has  been drifting aimlessly for a while and then suddenly out of nowhere you reach this wide junction, a crossroad with several different narrow paths headed in different directions.

And as hard as it is, you must pick the best one that you hope will lead you to a better place, a perceived/desired destination. This could be regarding Education, Career, relationship/marriage, location or anything that is important to you in life.

Photo of crossroads by Marcin Jozwiak on Unsplash

For a while now I have been really feeling some type of way. You know that feeling when you are just confused about life. You feel like somehow it just caught you flat footed, you wake up one day and you feel you just don’t know what exactly you are doing with your life, where you are and at what point you got there.  

And worse, you don’t know how to get out of it. You feel stuck…. terribly stuck!  And as if to escalate it, things keep happening and you are just reeling and reeling, you cannot seem to comprehend anything anymore.

You can’t really for sure say you are sad, but you know you are not happy either, you are just there, existing. you feel you don’t belong where you are right now or have been for several years.  

You look around and you feel like everyone around you is content and happy with their lives, of course this is not the case as i have come to learn. But they seem to be focused, like they are in the right place in the same place where you feel lost and terribly out of place.

You desperately need a change, that is the one thing that you are damn sure about, but the choices?  The choices available are so conflicting, just contemplating them feels like putting your emotions in a wringer, you come out feeling defeated and more confused than you were before.

If you leave you are doomed, if you stay you are also doomed, neither way is the best way. You feel pressed between a rock and a hard place in all aspects of life. I don’t know if this is what they call midlife crisis, but I hope that I come out of it sooner than later, and that i will come out of it with answers to last me a life time.

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