When facing tough times and storms in life, the most crucial thing is not just finding a solution, rising again or managing to toss yourself back to the top. The important thing is how you go about it, your reactions during the journey towards recovery. It’s not easy. Here are some ways to help you through the process:-
Accepting your situation
The defining moment during hard times is when you accept you are in trouble, that shit just hit the fan. It is acknowledging everything you’re experiencing both physically and emotionally. As uncomfortable as it may be, resisting it will only make it worse.
Acceptance allows you to take a deep breath, to be present, to get a clear perspective and take stock of your troubles. It helps you to figure out the perfect place to position yourself in order to launch yourself back in the grind.
Acceptance is not defeat, it is humbly taking a seat at the rock bottom, right in the middle of the storm. It helps in calming down the mind, you are no longer in panic mode, in denial or fighting frantically to mitigate it or survive. What has happened has happened, refuse to dwell in/ on it more than necessary, the best thing you can do now is to only think forward from that point, it’s liberating.
Most of the time, we find it hard to accept that we are in trouble, especially financial and marital problems. We keep up a charade, saving face and maintaining habits that no longer fit us in our current woes. Spending money on budgets we can barely afford just to ensure “friends” don’t notice that we have fallen. This in return digs us deeper into our woes.
It’s okay to accept to yourself that things are no longer in your control, you don’t have to tell everyone around you but it’s important to acknowledge it to yourself. You don’t need to maintain a façade to your very self, you do not owe your lifestyle to anyone. You chose it and you can drop it anytime you feel like. Be true to yourself, when things are good and when they are not.
Most importantly know that acceptance is the beginning of your comeback!
When things do not go according to plan, we become so engrossed in our misery that we forget to take a moment to reflect on the fact that yes things have gone wrong, but it could have been worse! Shit could have gone way worse than it did. Ask me about it.
Instead of allowing your mind to only dwell on the negative and the difficulties you are in, look at the bright side, at anything else good that is happening in your life at that moment and around you. For example be grateful that you are alive and healthy to be here to overcome this obstacle.
Don’t let a failure in one section of your life overshadow other achievements and success in other areas. Be present and allow yourself to celebrate your small winnings, no matter how small they are. I recently went through a rough time and in the middle of it all, I received an award I never thought I ever would, such a surprise! But I was so sad and I almost didn’t appreciate it the way I should have until I sat down and thought about gratitude! 🙂 Good things in the midst of the bad.
So someone just falsely or forcefully took over an important asset from you, thieves broke into your house and stole your valuables, conmen conning you of your hard earned cash…… do not despair, I know its damn painful but be happy because regardless of how much they take from you, they did not take your life or your brains or hands. You still have the most important assets you need to rise again….you have you….rejoice and get ready for a comeback.
Be happy because even though you have just lost your job, you have gained some experience and expertise to sell yourself to your next employer in the job market. That even though the new business you had invested your money in just collapsed be grateful for the valuable lessons you have learned, they will always come in handy in the next venture and in other areas of your life, they might even lead to greater achievements, I have personally learned this severally. Somethings just have to come the hard way.
Every time you find yourself in the deep end remember there is always some positive even in the darkest of moments. Take heart and find some solace in this. Lots of hugs from me, it shall be well.
Gratitude has a positive effect on the brain and your body, it helps to make us healthier and happier.
Slow down, don’t rush.
When we fall and we are stuck down in the pits, all we want to do is to just spring ourselves back to where we were by all means, we become desperate and we lurch onto random crevice walls trying to climb back up from the hole we have fallen into. But due to the desperation, the rocks that we grab onto in haste keep tumbling down and pushing us back into the ravine or even worse.
But if you sit down and contemplate on how to go up the wall slowly without the rush, you will find the lightest/ less strenuous path up. Don’t rush into a new situation trying to save another and get yourself caught up. For example, rushing to get a loan to save a dying business which in reality is unsalvageable.
Take your time, think things through and be deliberate with your decisions. Know what is worth chasing, worth keeping and what you need to let go. If possible Talk to someone you trust and are close to, unburden your heart and mind, seek advice and let someone hold your hand as you make the right decisions. Good support is critical during these moments.
It is not your fault.
Sometimes we face storms in life that leave us wondering what wrong we did to deserve what we are going through. Don’t judge yourself harshly or start thinking that God is out to punish you. Sometimes things happen in our lives so that God’s work and miracles can be manifested through us.
At times, you could be going through a battle that is not even yours, maybe you are just a vessel in the whole scenario, so don’t beat yourself over something that happened that you had no control over. It had to happen that way. Do all you can to help the situation and know that God has your back covered and when you are done, He will restore you back fully and then some.
Believe you will overcome, you will make it
Everything that has ever been achieved in life started with a vision, a belief and faith. Believe that you are victorious and you are going to overcome whatever trials you are going through. Having Faith will take you a long way.
Refuse in your heart to be defeated. Know that in one way or the other you are coming out a winner. Nothing lasts forever, and whatever you are going through is not the exception. It is a bad phase that will eventually fade away so be patient, stay strong and focus on winning, most importantly pray and ask God for guidance to walk you through and triumph you.
I did this and witnessed God’s hand at work….I will forever be grateful for His saving Grace! 🙂